Shirebound ([info]shirebound) wrote,
@ 2004-10-05 08:46:00
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Entry tags:why did the chicken cross the road

Since some folks need cheering up today...
See what you can come up with! I could only think of five. (And feel free to give alternates to mine.)


WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

Boromir: To defend Gondor against its enemies
Gandalf: I thought I told everyone to stay off the Road.
Sam: Look, Mr. Frodo! The roast chicken we've been waiting for!
Legolas: It has heard the Sea, and will now be ever restless.
Pippin: Did someone say chicken?

Bilbo:
Aragorn:
Arwen:
Cirdan:
Denethor:
Elrond:
Eomer:
Eowyn:
Faramir:
Frodo:
Galadriel:
Gimli:
Gollum:
Merry:
Saruman:
Sauron:


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[info]grimnir1
2004-10-05 08:52 am UTC (link)
Lovely idea!

Frodo: It will never be the same when it comes back.
Galadriel: It passes the test. It will diminish, and cross the road and remain a chicken.
Eowyn: It doesn't want to stay in a cage behind bars any more until all chance of doing great deeds is gone beyond recall or desire.
Bilbo: Crossing the road goes ever on and on.

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[info]shirebound
2004-10-05 08:58 am UTC (link)
ROTFL!!!! These are all terrific!

*huge grin*

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(no subject) - [info]grimnir1, 2004-10-06 01:39 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]belegcuthalion, 2004-10-05 09:06 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]grimnir1, 2004-10-06 01:42 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]myladylyssa, 2004-10-05 10:34 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]grimnir1, 2004-10-06 01:34 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]fafojoy, 2004-10-05 02:30 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]grimnir1, 2004-10-06 01:32 am UTC (Expand)

[info]ethereal_hobbit
2004-10-05 09:06 am UTC (link)
Hehehe!!! :D

Boromir: "It's a strange thing that we suffer so much fear and doubt over so small a chicken...such a little thing."

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]shirebound
2004-10-05 09:08 am UTC (link)
*snort*

I'm loving these!

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(no subject) - [info]ethereal_hobbit, 2004-10-05 09:23 am UTC (Expand)

[info]pippinswolf
2004-10-05 09:11 am UTC (link)
Frodo: Because though it did not know the way, it went anyway.

Gimli: Because it saw an Elf coming and ran.

Cirdan: Because the Ship was all full.

Bilbo: Because it was there, and came back again.

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[info]shirebound
2004-10-05 09:19 am UTC (link)
Hee hee. Gimli *would* say that!

:)

(Reply to this) (Parent)
(no subject) - [info]myladylyssa, 2004-10-05 10:35 am UTC (Expand)

[info]jewelsong
2004-10-05 09:14 am UTC (link)
Aragorn: You have a stout heart, little chicken.

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[info]shirebound
2004-10-05 09:21 am UTC (link)
These answers are cheering *me* up!

:)

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]sorrowful_eagle
2004-10-05 10:08 am UTC (link)
Bilbo: It was hurrying to catch up with a band of dwarves going on an adventure. Unfortunately, the chicken did not fare so well against three more monstrous trolls, and was slow-roasted on a spit, while the dwarves were invited to dine with said trolls...

Merry: Now, that's a funny story, Aunt Eglantine! You see, Pip and I were just out for an after-dinner stroll when we happened to walk past the chicken coop...

Faramir: The chicken was a distraction, and made a noble sacrifice that allowed my men and myself to retreat from Osgiliath.

Denethor: I knew it! I knew the chicken would do that. I told you all last week the chicken would do that, and next it will exit Minas Tirith, make it's way into Mordor and betray us to our enemies, and Theoden isn't here to stop it! Argh! *sets self alight*

Gandalf: It's not a chicken. It is one of the Nine, disguised as a chicken, and the other eight are following close behind. I warned you that the Dark Lord had many servants - beasts, birds - that includes chickens.

Oh, this is fun! :D

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[info]shirebound
2004-10-05 10:24 am UTC (link)
*snort* Omigosh, Denethor's line is a classic!

*runs to add Denethor to cast list*

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]green_ghost
2004-10-05 10:28 am UTC (link)
Smeagol: What's chicken precious? What's chicken, eh?
Gollum:: Because it doesn't have any friends. Nobody likes chicken.

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[info]shirebound
2004-10-05 10:29 am UTC (link)
Love it!

*runs to add Gollum to list*

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]maripo5a
2004-10-05 10:30 am UTC (link)
Elrond: The chicken crossed the road to its DOOM! DOOM! DOOM!

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]shirebound
2004-10-05 10:33 am UTC (link)
Oh that Elrond. Always so cheerful and optimistic!

:)

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(no subject) - [info]maripo5a, 2004-10-05 10:37 am UTC (Expand)

[info]green_ghost
2004-10-05 10:37 am UTC (link)
Actually, it never got across that road. Gandalf wouldn't let it pass.

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[info]shirebound
2004-10-05 11:18 am UTC (link)
Perfection.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]myladylyssa
2004-10-05 10:38 am UTC (link)
Legolas: As a diversion!

(Reply to this) (Thread)(Expand)

[info]myladylyssa
2004-10-05 10:43 am UTC (link)
Arwen: Because there was still hope.

(Reply to this) (Parent)
(no subject) - [info]myladylyssa, 2004-10-05 11:01 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]shirebound, 2004-10-05 11:17 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]myladylyssa, 2004-10-05 12:07 pm UTC (Expand)

[info]writerj
2004-10-05 10:44 am UTC (link)
Bilbo: It was afraid of being swept off its feet.
Aragorn: Because it can for the Rangers protect it, yet it fears us.
Arwen: It made its choice.
Cirdan: Because it cannot cross the Sea.
Denethor: It can do what it wants, there is no hope.
Elrond: For there is no strength left in the world of poultry.
Eomer: Because I am in mind for a feast.
Eowyn: It fears a cage.
Faramir: It would live in peace.
Frodo: It cannot go back.
Galadriel: To fight the long defeat.
Gimli: I'm with Eomer on this one.
Gollum: Crunchable birdses!
Merry: Because Pippin's chasing it.
Saruman: We must join with it. It would be wise.
Sauron: It cannot hide. I see it. There is no life in the void. Only the rotisserie.

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[info]shirebound
2004-10-05 11:21 am UTC (link)
Fantastic! I'd highlight my favorite, but they're all just too good.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]anna_burrows
2004-10-05 11:17 am UTC (link)
Gandalf: The chicken is never late, nor is it early. It crosses the road precisely when it means to!

Bilbo: It needed a holiday, a very long holiday, and didn't expect to return. In fact, it meant not to.

Boromir: It better not have gone to Gondor. Gondor has no chicken. Gondor needs no chicken.

Sam: If the chicken takes one more step, it'll be the farthest from home it's ever been.

Gandalf: *stepping into the middle of the road* You cannot pass... I am a servant of the Secret Fire, wielder of the Flame of Anor. The Dark Feathers will not avail you, Flame of Poultry. Go back to the coop. You shall not pass!

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[info]shirebound
2004-10-05 11:19 am UTC (link)
I'm dying of laughter. Dying.

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(no subject) - [info]myladylyssa, 2004-10-05 11:21 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]jewelsong, 2004-10-05 11:22 am UTC (Expand)

[info]voontah
2004-10-05 11:21 am UTC (link)
THese are great, thank you for a cheery spot in the day.

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[info]shirebound
2004-10-05 11:23 am UTC (link)
I'm so impressed with all of these! I thought and thought, but could only come up with the original five.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]myladylyssa
2004-10-05 11:44 am UTC (link)
Treebeard: Don't be hasty, young chicken. It is likely that you go to your doom. The last march of the chickens.

or

Treebeard: It liked going south, somehow it felt like going downhill.

or

Treebeard: That doesn't make sense to me. But, then again, it is very small.

*just a little obsessed this afternoon*

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[info]shirebound
2004-10-05 12:03 pm UTC (link)
I love that third one, particularly!

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[info]grav_ity
2004-10-05 11:45 am UTC (link)
I am laughing so hard I am snorting. In the library. Can I make these into a webpage? Pretty please?

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[info]myladylyssa
2004-10-05 11:49 am UTC (link)
Heck, I work in a library . I just hope none of my coworkers see the lunatic grin I have on my face!

(Reply to this) (Parent)
(no subject) - [info]eldanna, 2004-10-05 11:52 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]shirebound, 2004-10-05 12:05 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]shirebound, 2004-10-17 06:41 am UTC (Expand)

[info]myladylyssa
2004-10-05 11:57 am UTC (link)
Legolas: It runs as if the very whip of the farmer were behind it.

Elrond: It's time here is ending...

Frodo: It is bound to an errand of secrecy. Those who claim to oppose the enemy would do well not to hinder it.

Merry: I think it made a mistake in leaving the Shire.

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[info]shirebound
2004-10-05 12:06 pm UTC (link)
You're having a fun afternoon, aren't you?

:)

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(no subject) - [info]myladylyssa, 2004-10-05 12:09 pm UTC (Expand)

[info]anna_burrows
2004-10-05 11:59 am UTC (link)
One more -

Gollum: It was sneaking.

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[info]shirebound
2004-10-05 12:05 pm UTC (link)
You folks are such fun.

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[info]lilybaggins
2004-10-05 12:12 pm UTC (link)
Boromir: Gondor HAS no chicken-a-la king. Gondor NEEDS no chicken a-la-king.
Faramir: To show its plump, tender quality.
Elrond: To become the chicken it was born to be.
Denethor: Bring wood and olive oil. We're having roast chicken.
Eomer: Trust not to the chicken. It has left these lands to cross the road.
Eowyn: It feared living in a cage, with other chickens.

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[info]myladylyssa
2004-10-05 12:15 pm UTC (link)
chicken-a-la-king! what a hoot! these are great!

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(no subject) - [info]lilybaggins, 2004-10-06 12:02 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]shirebound, 2004-10-05 12:43 pm UTC (Expand)

[info]slightlytookish
2004-10-05 12:24 pm UTC (link)
Oh, what fun!

Denethor: I will not bow to this chicken from the north, last of ragged coop long bereft of lordship.

Orcs: Chicken? Why can't we have some chicken? We've had nothing but maggoty bread for three stinking days!

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[info]shirebound
2004-10-05 12:43 pm UTC (link)
I can't believe how creative you folks are! What a fun list!

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[info]icybright
2004-10-05 01:16 pm UTC (link)
Heeheehee...This is so funny. I can't think of any right now, though. ^_^

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[info]shirebound
2004-10-05 01:27 pm UTC (link)
Isn't this fun? A perfect pick-me-upper.

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[info]myladylyssa
2004-10-05 01:37 pm UTC (link)
A few more...
Bilbo: It was quite ready for another adventure.
Gamling: It leaves because there is no hope.
Theoden: It leaves because it must.
Aragorn: Gondor calls for aid.
Pippin: Home is behind- The world ahead- And there are many
paths to tread...
Smeagol: Because it's its birthday, and it wants it.
Galadriel: If the chicken does not find a way, no one will.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]shirebound
2004-10-05 01:46 pm UTC (link)
This is just too much fun. (I adore Aragorn's quote here!) I'll have to put everyone's answers in one big list sometime.

:)

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(no subject) - [info]myladylyssa, 2004-10-05 01:49 pm UTC (Expand)
Brilliant
[info]aragorn_reader
2004-10-05 02:43 pm UTC (link)
Kudos to everyone!

Give us a link, shirebound, if someone does compile them into their own page; I'd love to have a copy!

Amy

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Re: Brilliant
[info]shirebound
2004-10-05 03:39 pm UTC (link)
Will do!

Isn't everyone amazing? What fun.

(Reply to this) (Parent)
Re: Brilliant - [info]shirebound, 2004-12-18 09:27 pm UTC (Expand)

[info]iolanthe_rosa
2004-10-05 04:11 pm UTC (link)
Late to the party as always. Has someone already come up with the idea of compiling all of these? There's no way I can get through this page!

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[info]shirebound
2004-10-05 04:20 pm UTC (link)
I'd like to compile then -- it's just a matter of finding the time! I had no idea so many people would respond.

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(no subject) - [info]grav_ity, 2004-10-05 08:51 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]shirebound, 2004-12-18 09:28 pm UTC (Expand)

[info]ainu_laire
2004-10-05 04:25 pm UTC (link)
Boromir: To go to Imladris and find the meaning of his strange dream.

Cirdan: The white gulls were calling to the chicken.

Gandalf: One Chicken to Rule them All, One Chicken to Find them...

Gollum: To find the Precious! We must have it!

Frodo: Because Gandalf told him too.

Ringwraith: Road... chicken... SCCCRRREEEECCHHHHHH!!

Tom Bombadil: Hey dol! Merry dol! Chicken de la road! Why cross he? Why cross thee? What made him go?

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[info]myladylyssa
2004-10-05 05:13 pm UTC (link)
Love the Ringwraith and Tom Bombadil ones! Yes!

(Reply to this) (Parent)
(no subject) - [info]shirebound, 2004-10-05 05:45 pm UTC (Expand)

[info]clever_hobbit
2004-10-05 05:18 pm UTC (link)
Bilbo: Frodo, tell me again, lad- where was it going?

Aragorn: The chicken of the South are welcome here.

Arwen: I wish... I could have seen him... one last time...

Denethor: I have seen more than you know. Oh yes, I know of this, "Chicken, son of Licken", and I tell you now, I will not bow to this poultry of the North!

Elrond: Take it by the safest road. A bus lies on the other side to carry it
to KFC. The last journey of the chicken.

Eomer: What business does a chicken have in the Mark? Speak quickly!

Eowyn: *screeeech, splat!* The chicken is badly wounded, my lord.

Faramir: Is this what you wish? That I had crossed the road and the chicken had not?

Frodo: There was no other way.

Galadriel: The world was changing. It felt it in the earth. It felt it in the water. It smelled it in the air.

Gimli: That is the luckiest, canniest, and most reckless chicken I have ever known! Bless you, chicken!

Gollum: Clever chickenses to walk so far!

Merry: Oi! We're coming too!

Saruman: A new power was rising!

Sauron: It cannot hide...

Wormtongue: Why do you lay these questions on an already questionable mind?

(Reply to this) (Thread)(Expand)

[info]myladylyssa
2004-10-05 05:28 pm UTC (link)
The Wormtongue one is quite appropriate! Love it!

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)(Expand)
(no subject) - [info]clever_hobbit, 2004-10-05 05:45 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]shirebound, 2004-10-05 05:46 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]clever_hobbit, 2004-10-05 06:19 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]west_of_moon, 2004-10-05 10:56 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]clever_hobbit, 2004-10-06 11:55 am UTC (Expand)

[info]myladylyssa
2004-10-05 05:26 pm UTC (link)
Sam: There was nothing for it but to cross the road. It was being chased by an Oliphaunt, it was. But no one at home will ever believe me.

*still at it, grins*

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